when u are running, no one can have the same pace as you, its the same in everything. maybe you couldnt catch up and you are forced to exceed your limit. that is where friends became strangers. when u start talking, i never get bored and the lines seems like its joining on its own. i'm sorry to those who lent their stuffs or skills to me on rendering, because i didnt make full use of them but in fact wasted it on that A3 paper. i wonder where my purpose has gone to, i couldnt even search for myself. i just want a simple life yet i think i complicate it myself. did i sound harsh? your ignorance completely shut me down, i doubt u are reading these too. i am having a hard time in all areas in my life right now, and i just couldnt find my support in the vast ocean and the harsh climate.

tight slap might not be enough. sorry qing.

9:16 PM
it continues to stain, why?.

awhile ago i was having a hard time pressing my password to enter blogger. on thursday night when to work after tut, then go chalet. on friday when to movie marathon. kungfu panda, its a boy girl thing and you dun mess with the zohan. on saturday night, when pub, for the second time. on sunday morning, i was bloggin half sobber, if thats the right word. its a boy girl thing is nice, super nice. its not just the sexual humour part, but the romance, the dreams was cool ! when u start drinking, i think truth will started to spilt out. i spilted out, however it doesnt worked out. i expected too. only magnetic items will attract to a magnet. however i am just a piece of crappy wood. oh well, at least its time i stand up myself, knowing it wasnt you who should wake me up with a big tight slap and continue working hard for architectual rendering, so i could still fight for a place in director's list? hahhahas, i hope i am not dreaming -.- cause i was just back from that noisy place. i thought i could control myself, but alcohol seems to control me. i shall get a hold of myself, besides i was making a complete fool of myself a few hours ago. =/ it was fated, as the palm says, the lines not yet joined. but i was happy that i finally was myself ! it was not easy to be a complete human, but i am trying my best, i hope u could see.

5:11 AM
it continues to stain, why?.

you are not that assassin therefore you are different. when i took a few more looks at that picture, i realise we are not as close as in the picture but as far as the distance between each planet. so what if i now summon a spaceship and fly to your planet? my rocket will tell me, selfdestruct in 10 seconds. i seriously wanted to give up architectual rendering. not that i cant do well, is just that ... i duno, but i am aware that , this should be what i like, colours. talk about colours, i always wanted how i should stroke my brush so i could make your life colourful every second. irritation ruins all the hardwork and intelligence. fate and destiny was destroyed or it never even existed before. so it wasnt her? the line on my palm have yet to shown the left her. i will keep searching and keep searching so that she can slap me and wake me up, so i could really focus on architectual rendering, which i am not suppose to do badly again ! wake me up, so i could add colours to my drawing and to our life. i met nice and bad people along the way. purpose, dream. me.

1:27 AM
it continues to stain, why?.