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Friday, September 29, 2006
we even lost sight of things we've seen before,

went to a new friend house and get to know many new friends.. but it really hard to remember everyone names, so i am trying hard can. as usual i dislike the song. but this time it much more touching and better than the previous, i duno why. maybe i am emotional or some other ways. anyways i love the lessons, especially the 5 love language. prehaps i using it already, or i get to use it in the coming future.
many people help me with the revision, i been trying hard to revise too. N levels is coming... time is ticking.. i must learn how to manage my time well. not exactly i duno how to manage, probably the time is just too short. plus i am like so attitude towards studies.. bless me.
thanks for those who teach me anything and everything. and i am glad to know a new circle of friends. =D
had a terrible haircut yesterday. firstly it look so not even, secondly it so not style thirdly it so short -.- argh... it my mistake not going to the salon and cut. just because i am so budget and i cut myself. the first and second time i cut it..many people say nice and i quite satisfy but not this time !! people if u get to see, dun laugh =X
good lucks to those who taking exams, and good luck to those does not need to take exams =D

11:59 PM

it continues to stain, why?.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006
we even lost sight of things we've seen before,

today english lesson
mdm rahima: you must UNDERSTAND the question, you must UNDERSTAND the passage, you must UNDERSTAND the language.

mrs tan: just do your 5 years series..

maths lesson for the past few days.
mrs tan: after so many years your mind has rust.
as for now, we try to conquer one at a time.

take your time. slowly one by one.
u go back try this cosine rule, come back tomorrow
this one very simple one, once u know how. u can do it.
(after teaching) u understand? remember to switch off the lights and fans.

me: u keep tomorrow, i where got tomorrow
me: so many maths fomulas, so many steps.

so short time where got time to learn
me: simple? i always thought like this. end up answer all wrong -.-
me: same fomula, different question, i duno how to apply lor. i lack of practice la
me: still say can pass one, can even get distinction

i dun have time to waste anymore la -.- 5 days and counting..
me: what the...

although mrs tan is a very good maths teacher and although my hate for maths has reduce but i am still unable to do such a simple question. it either careless? or i still duno waht the hell is the question asking. apply the fomula, not get wrong answer, if not nearly correct.
in exams i dun have mrs tan and i also dun have the answer for me to check or double check.
fuck la, thanks to me for not paying attention for the past few years?
ass.. all the fake hopes like telling me, i will fail my N levels. not i think too much la. is really la
english i thought the answer is this but actually is not. and once u fail english u fail everything la
end up still go ITE.. although so many people say i am smart or intelligent. so? even if i win in a rat race, i am still the rat -.- do u all get waht i mean.
i also try very hard to start re-learn maths, so if i get promoted i dun have to trouble for maths, but now.. i think a sec 1 express might be smarter than me -.-
such a simple question, can also get wrong lor
i really ...
the followwing above i dun even know waht i writing -.-
today is really

today morning still alright, saw taht ngee ann girl. a single deck 28 came. i am the last one on board. while walking to be seated. i looked at her and she looked at me. she sit at the outside seat nearer to the door. when i sitted down she sit inside.. is she trying to hint me to sit beside her? i not sure la -.-
afterwards PE play basketball. although never really put in my best. but i sweat till the whole shirt soak. it good excercise in the morning.
dnt lesson: tomorrow examiner going to come and mark my artefact and folio. dots.. my artefact de mechanism all not working. somemore there suppsoe to be a vergetable on top of the artefact now is like dead.. had to buy new one which is fresh....dots -.-
although i am like so confuse now la...but i suddently remembered that u actually held on to my pencil last week.. i was shocked actually. but nevermind.. was thinking is there chance to hold that pencil together with u and pen down our memories or draw the "we are family"
me: nonsense -.- dun put too much hope on me, because i might fail my N level. to prevent any disappointment -.-

3:51 PM

it continues to stain, why?.

Monday, September 25, 2006
we even lost sight of things we've seen before,

yesterday went to basketballing with the cousinsss, because i getting weaker than before. sick and also lack of stamina, so decide to play basketball end up sweat alot.
you still say you coming, end up never. you rather enjoy your game than to break your promise? to you maybe i am not just dirt i am also "ITE", someone precious to you would be "JC" and you wished to be with him all the time and so you work hard hoping to go to "JC". your dreams, your future.. maybe prehaps "ITE" just dun suit your lifestyles, your everything. in terms of academic i already lose out, what more go out for career i am a much more failure to you compare to him. you grow up in a palace, i grew up in kampong? we just live differently. i doubt you understand how i live each day with suffering? maybe it the right choice to leave you, to hate you and to give up on you. actually i wont want to, but i guess i dun have a choice. i think i will never find true love again. past few days u were depressed, due to your previous beloved changed. maybe i am just busybody, but i just want to care for you. but you just have somebody elsess heart. your "JC" also intend to go to poly for the coming year, maybe if you didnt do very well, u could join him too. how sweet. =(
everytime see couples sweetly together, how i wish i could be like them with my partner. but i just dun get the chance, or maybe never. people might say i am still young or whatever. but i think it needs time to love and to commit. understand why some couples break up? maybe they love but they dun commit. i just fear many things, how i wish someone can take away my fears. i may look like i am tough, but i am actually weak or infact weaker than everyone. who can be there for me when i really need that someone. dun just say, u must also do.

12:03 AM

it continues to stain, why?.

Sunday, September 24, 2006
we even lost sight of things we've seen before,

yesterday went to city harvest church at the expo max pavillion hall 8 with mavis. get to know some people. bernard, yongheng and mark are the only people i remember their names =x some also never introduce themselves and she has like so many friend, how could i remember all in a short time. i totally dislke the songs and the praying part, maybe becasue i am not a christian and i have to stoned there like an idiot for like so long. but i loves the lesson. today lesson was about marriage. after the lesson all married couples are given a rose and a duno what thing as a gift. ohmy, there was like so many people in the hall, and so many sweet couples can.. how i wish in future i get my own one too. and also a happy family.
after the church, went home get changed and play basketball with esmond. i was late and cause him not to have much fun. but i think he still enjoy la =D anyways there still so much time for us to enjoy together.. those

1:02 AM

it continues to stain, why?.

Friday, September 22, 2006
we even lost sight of things we've seen before,

_ _ _ _ N _
_ _ _ IS CUTE
purposely write, so someone is jealous =X
today lessons was slack. many teachers were absent. this week i am such a good boy can, i been doing my maths question..although it seems so hard, but i been so keen to re-learn. today i cause the cousins troubles. one being so bored to watch the audition and another late for tuition.
past few days went eating lunch during dinner time with junyi. stingray with the chilli so spicy, plus this new vegetarian restruant. i ate vegetarian fried rice and fried beehoon..he ate vegetarian slice fish beehoon. below are some picture of vegetarian food.
Free Image Hosting at <a href=vegetarian prawn
Free Image Hosting at <a href=vegetarian salmon
Free Image Hosting at <a href=we finished clean and..clean la.
end up i having sore throat -.- hope i recover soon.hope you recover soon too N level is coming within a week. wish me luck. wish everbody luck too including you

10:53 PM

it continues to stain, why?.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006
we even lost sight of things we've seen before,


celebrate ah tai's birthday yesterday, bought a slice of cake with waihong and gave it to him =D
went back to the workplace, they welcomed me like so warm la.. after N level i going to go back to work for money. i am broke la..
yesterday also got problem walking pass.. purposely walk the other side -.-
got people wish u recover soon when u are not feeling well
u wanting to go the place where, someone perfect is there
actually went into fight, but didnt, waste time only-.- saw so many people there, those i know had changed, tremendous change.
skip lunch and had late dinner -.- was dizzy and not feeling well due to hunger?
so coincidence saw u in the bus, accompany u home, u accompany me talk..while talking saw tears flow down your cheeks, i was stunned, duno waht to anyways
today basketball was fun.. it been a long time since i sweat alot. i score a number of balls and get a number or rebounds and also intercept a number of balls =D
sleeps during dnt lessons. was like so tired la.. mrs tan had moodswings.
alamak la..maths is really rubbish, it obvious i disappoint mrs tan again. this time i am too stressed le la. until now i am still suffer for the headache trying to know waht factorisation or whatever. ayuni say my cutting is very nice, she ask me where i have my haircut, i told her i cut myself she does not believe -.- but it the truth.. was glad someone love my style =D
after school, i acted lightbulb for awhile afterwards went to give somebody a suprise. it not fate, it i wanted to look for it. suppose watch the banquet with zijing -.- he nonsense mother got a new cupboard? i helped her carry up the stairs, was heavy lor, than my dumb neighbour blocked my way -.- still dun give way, i nearly out of breath and breakdown la..anyways went dinner with yande now.. having late dinner dots. -.-
bless me man..

8:55 PM

it continues to stain, why?.

Saturday, September 16, 2006
we even lost sight of things we've seen before,


i didnt know i actually saw fiona at the MRT..was wondering was that her? end up double check with her online was her..and it was like so coincidence la. saw her so many times. fate? -.-
went dining with vicki, gold, anne, shuting and blade? at bukitbatok -.- de pizza hut, after the pizza, the girls still hungry and the feed on onion rings at BK.. shuting is defintely depressed and somehow it affects me. because suddently i feel that i am disable to do many thing i once able.example talking to them to make them happy, solve their problems. my reaction getting slower.. and many other abilities was disabled.
had a little phobia on true or dare. not being fear by speaking the truth, i am honest so most probably i wont tell fake stories about waht it really is.. but i will be careful about waht i say..ohmy the question they ask, reflects badly about me..somehow it time to make some decisions and be clear of waht i am doing.. bless me.

11:42 PM

it continues to stain, why?.

Friday, September 15, 2006
we even lost sight of things we've seen before,

esmond must be loving it =D

these past few days was like so tired.. probably raining day was enjoyable to sleep. although i didnt really sleep in lessons now..but i get to sleep when i reach home. and it super long hours. that one of the reason why i had sleepless nights -.- always have no lunch and late dinner, i will die earlier man. more pimples will grow on my face already la, always eat oily food.. -.- no choice i am lazy to eat the others..
blogger was like having maintainance? so i was like view on other blogs randomly to double check. mine had a problem, so i was like viewing at this particular person with this particular entry. was talking about this idiot writing these words on the whiteboard with permanent marker..ohmy she sound jealous, but anyways seriously i find that stupid no offence, but it a little no creative? but somehow this person is smart to write it with PERMANENT marker... lol =D
was happened to view yours too.. didnt expect i been upsetting u. seriously i do have intention to wish u, and wanted to be the first one and also to give u a present too. things defintely dun work out well, besides that, on my birthday i wish u could at least say a happy birthday or prehaps something more? but the simplest thing u could do.. u didnt.. taht make me actually thinks not to wish u..but, i think happiness is suppose to be shared. but i was in a dillema? i cant make up my mind, end up i make a choice, end up still commented by alright u must be hate me..i just want to be your gold not your shit. i mean i dun like gold, it just the value counts.
ngee ann girl =D after 2 days.. i thought i couldnt get to see her today but i did. probably it fate, but i didnt get up with her on the same bus stop.. i was sort of late..but i did saw her when i get up. i looked into her eyes although was only in seconds but shes was looking at me too. i am sure of that =D

11:34 PM

it continues to stain, why?.

Thursday, September 14, 2006
we even lost sight of things we've seen before,


yesterday i know that my cousin broke up with shuting.. shuting was my online friend, and she know my cousin from her school. somehow she must be really love him, she suffering and i can see taht. but there nothing i can totally a misunderstanding, and shes reacting like as if it a real problem.. bless her man...
these few days, i keep sleeping like there is no tomorrow.. including today i sleep till i skip my lunch and i had my dinner so late..thanks to xinyu for the company la..if not i probably wont be eating..
omg i saw fiona outside my school today. actually i didnt know it was her,cause i couldnt sure so i double check with her when she online. i get to know her through friendster and shes defintely cheerful and is a joy to be with. and the world is small, to spot her there. in future there will be chance to meet if there is fate.
it been 2 days i last seen that ngee ann girl..ohmy her eyes are defintely beautiful, too beautiful la. if there chance and fate i will get to see her tomorrow, no worries man. i would like to live in a world with ease. =D

11:49 PM

it continues to stain, why?.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006
we even lost sight of things we've seen before,

i do not have enough sleep and i dun sleep well again.. i even make myself hot milk before i went to bed for yesterday -.- today was also another nonsense day. 3 periods of dnt and 3 periods of maths. i didnt do maths again. the 2004 N level maths paper 1, which mrs tan gave me yesterday was not written a single word on it, until the last period, i did waht i can to show her, i will fail. after 1 period my maths paper 1 scored 26.5 over 60.. she still say i can do better and ask me to believe i can do better and she still want me to do paper 2 for tomorrow .. bless me..
saw miss sim in the bus she was sort of trying to convince me to do well.. but i still have not sort out my mind, although time is really running out. mrs tan, miss sim and even belinda also try to talk to me.. i really want to do well, and i really want to prove to those who looked down on me, and those who gave me encouragement. i not yet forgotten the 2 friends gave me many many words of advise..
i guess mrs tan is the only person can help me with maths now. this time it either i fail or i get distinction.. that all..
after school was accompany andrew for his chemistry.. besides i am good in chemistry just that my organic chemistry suck.. or rather the sec 4 topics...realise i was late for a date... i late for 20 minutes -.-
went to library, to returned and borrowed books. went to eat the bean pancake, was reading the quotation and the brouchers the person gave while eating the pancake.. was cute la and it convincing people to eat breakfast and not skip meals =x and also reminds me about the past memories ... how i could happen again..
i reach home at 9pm with my school uniform. was tired.

10:29 PM

it continues to stain, why?.

Monday, September 11, 2006
we even lost sight of things we've seen before,

today first day of school was nonsense, probably i do not have enough sleep. seriously i dun feel alright today. starting with the late coming of 28, causing me end up must take mrt to school -.- wasted some cash of course. after 1 week of holiday, i finally get to see taht ngee ann girl. she too attractive la. i couldnt get my eyes off her. she did look into my eyes, becasuse i looked into her eyes. her eyes are beautiful, too beautiful la.
i didnt do physics and maths paper. mrs tan was disappointed. alamak, i really wanted to give up la. there so much i havent consider. i still duno what i want in life, too many changes happened suddently, i have to make changes in my future too, so that i will be adapt to waht happened and cause the changes. maybe ITE is the life i wanted? i dun think so...
3 more weeks, to major exams. i recall when we took our MT N level paper, i was like walk in calmly, others was like, feeling stressed or confident and me i was like that kinda heck care attitude.
my friend told me, a friend of ours has turn to a gay. my friend said, he's sad la. see a friend of his for so long and he just change from a boy to a gay.. a friend of mine also change to a lesbian. alamak, i feel sad too la. is like my friend from a girl change to a les. wish her/him luck la.

10:04 PM

it continues to stain, why?.

Sunday, September 10, 2006
we even lost sight of things we've seen before,


yesterday while celebrating for waihong was not very satsifying. first i wasted money for transport second i am disappointed with the trip, no alchohol. but someone must be more disappointed than me. i feel sad for him, although i once was in his shoes now. but i seems to have nothing to talk to him, but just some advise only. cold war is a serious war than u see in fights, bloods, dead people. cold war doesnt involve in any fighting, it just some war that does not require any action that hurts people's mind, soul and the heart. and we are the victim.
although yesterday didnt enjoy. today i did. we meet up, suppose each person drinks per bottle. waihong says it taste so bitter, so i finish the remaining for him. end up i think i reek with alcohol and it somehow stinks. so i drink bubble tea to neutralise, end up was too full, i voimitted at the bus stop together with my lunch. my mama cook "chicken porridge" -.- lucky there public toliet. anyways was just awake from a nap. i have serious headaches. my head keep spinning like, u just luanch a spinning top with great force. so my sentence structure or the language was like terrible. but all i want to say was, i am really not feeling okays, seeing things i wont want to see, and it happening right in front of me all the time. and when i ask, i dun get the answer waht i wanted. waht the hell is the world going on..? i dun seems to know.
school holidays end so fast. school re-opening, i wont want to go school, i afraid to face the exams, becasue i know i am not able to make it.
today is your birthday, but who cares u dun even bother, whether i am your friend or not, but i know a secret about u. if i let u know, i wonder will u still treat your that best friend, a friend or will u still continue treat me like shit. your friend did something cunning.
what would u think about this person, if he/she took a picture of u, without letting u know? or he did ask u permission, and he gave it to someone else. maybe that someone elses, u wouldnt want to let him/her have it. anyways someone did have your picture. and it obvious. u wouldnt suddently gave someone. it a snapshot, and until now u probably wont know. i am worry for u, worry for other peoples too.

9:06 PM

it continues to stain, why?.

Saturday, September 09, 2006
we even lost sight of things we've seen before,


today the date so nice..9/9 some perfection meaning to me. anyways today was a day full of nonsense. but after now, i will be celebrating for waihong, and i going to enjoy myself like nobody elses cares. they planned to go back to my work place..ohmy means i get to see those workers which i longed didnt see them. and there a new girl who work with us. wonder how shes look like =x anyways they intend to drink, was not suppose to drink with them, but i guess now i have a reason and the reason is you.
tomorrow i realise so many people birthday. so many september babies too. but i guess i cant be bothered? tomorrow if u feel disappointed of me not wishing u ..than take it as i am dead. but i dun think u bother too.. cause there more people will wish for u .. i am really disappointed in u, for doing those things which reflects u. but i guess u really dun bother..

9:24 PM

it continues to stain, why?.

Friday, September 08, 2006
we even lost sight of things we've seen before,


i watched my first NC16 show "little man" today with my first secondary school friend esmond. (excluding those i know them before actually) we defintely enjoyed the whole trip out there. the arcade games, was fun. a "professional" in ice hockey challange me, although i lost to him. he still say what nice shot, nice block, good game, shake my hand and even treat me for the game.. esmond want to play with him. so i treat them the game =D
today i saw so many peoples out there most shocking was xinyu cause shes the birthday girl..
anyways i did celebrate for her with chenpei and her new boyfriend =X we ate KFC when i just ate Mac. i done alot of chewing and bite-ing. i am defintely full and i spend alot of money. i guess i am broked.
kbox trip was cancelled. peoples are upset. hope they be happy and we will get to go to kbox and other places soon after out major exams in our secondary school life. smile always =D

11:32 PM

it continues to stain, why?.

Thursday, September 07, 2006
we even lost sight of things we've seen before,

suppose to go kbox today, end up wasnt organise well..i think it postponed..
done intensive cycling from tampines to east coast and suntanning at east coast park.
was not really suntanning, it just that the sun is so hot..and my skin look darker than before. i did not enjoy the trip alone, was with someone, walking at the shore, pushing each other trying to fall into the sea..moreover both of us duno how to swim -.- lucky was not end up in the sea, if not probably nobody gonna save anybody.
i took 35 mins to reach there and 30 mins to come back. fast? i was sort of speeding la.. meet up with junyi, the owner of the bike.. to have dinner. and i finially get to watch the 7oclock drama..which i miss the episodes for the past 2 days..and 2 more days it showing the final episode. qianyun is defintely pretty and shes good..very her i wish, i wish that my girlfriend would be like her. pretty, "ti tie", "tie xin" and.. very nice la..

10:54 PM

it continues to stain, why?.

we even lost sight of things we've seen before,


a few hourss ago was eating yesterday breakfast at 5pm with junyi at the coffee shop -.- he joker la..want to save money end up spend money..i also have to spend with him..
afterwards was watching the devil wears prada with his brother yande...
the show was so nice ..until i duno how to say.. the fashion style all look so great especially the great change cause to the lady? she was actually quite plump, than her figure was like so nice later on =x and her life was like so in a mess actually..but later on she handle them defintely a great show.. it worth watching for those people who loves fashion or fashion design..
and i say cherine at the cinema.. the world is small, little expect i would see her there =)
spend quite in the afternoon might spend even more..pray i dun broke soon and also hope i enjoy myself, wish a great day for me ahead =)

1:12 AM

it continues to stain, why?.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006
we even lost sight of things we've seen before,


i guess things have come to the end with conclusion... finailly u spoke true words from your heart, afterall i am still the main cause. u mistaken me taht i am good, but actually u saw the true me which i am bad, which u agree together with the others.
i always wish to love someone..loving somone requires that person to commit is difficult. i always trying to be smart, because i am smart in some ways, even mrs tan said i am smart. but i guess i am too smart... to cause all these troubles.. vicki was right a woman's heart is as deep as an ocean.. i always think i understand woman to a certain extend, but i think there much much for me to learn and know. i fear to commit another mistake in future for any relationships. as a perfectionist i always want the best and always perform at my best. so i cant really accept failures, if not i might get utterly disappointed. which it describes my feelings now.
wonderful stories will always come to the end. how i wish i still could hold my pen and continue writing down stories, chapter by chapter..but i have to stop now..times up which means. promises are broken, dreams are forgotten, story ended..
my chinese paper was screwed due to lag of time, i think i need some time managment.
tomorrow chinese listening and social studies paper will even screwed -.- even luck from the most luckiest person might not save me.
people say the next relationship would be better then the one before.
hope my next relationship would be better then the one before.

2:05 AM

it continues to stain, why?.

Saturday, September 02, 2006
we even lost sight of things we've seen before,

went to RSAF open house with belinda and xinyi.. so many airplanes and also pretty girls =X but never really notice them la.. those airplanes design like so nice..but i dun love planes, i prefer ships, dream to be a pirate, swordsman or assasin.. so i can swing my swords or daggers on my opponents.. the toliets over there is 1 door per belinda and xinyi was opening this door which is suppose to be vacant but end up there someone inside somemore it a guy they are embarassed for sure..i was in the toliet so didnt saw the whole situation happened..
took shuttle bus there and back..was queue-ing up to go back..there a kid standing next to me was like so cute..he climb up the fence standing about same height as me. sadly no camera if not i would want to take a picture with him.
afterwards when to bugis junction. had late lunch with them..they ate traditional chicken rice, i ate korean cuisine, kimchi =D afterwards went to watch "tong en" and "fan yi chen" "zao shi hou dong" organise by 933? anyways tong en look so cute.. hahas.. belinda and i defintely had sour legs because we do intensive standing but we also enjoy the whole show..sadly xinyi duno go where -.- went home afterwards..

11:58 PM

it continues to stain, why?.

Friday, September 01, 2006
we even lost sight of things we've seen before,


today suppose to "change over a new leaf" i decided to start learning maths...and i even asking tuitors like jiesi and jasmin to teach me..because i want to pass my maths with flying colours, and i have confident in them and myself..and they even give me hope when i was sec 3.
so was suppose to start early afternoon.. at jiesi's place. i did wake up punctually, end up it was i went for a when i wake up i am refresh and to start learn i can remember them well..and ready to take me N level in 1 month time..end up jasmin called me at 3 and she is ready, but i am not.. and i am not aware of the time -.- so she just say, u not girl get waht ready -.- i was pissed so i just slammed the phone and ignored them.. 1st what wrong getting ready before meeting them? 2nd i was not aware of the time. 3rd i want to be punctual..but they wont let me too.. maybe fate really let me fail maths? but i cant i want to get A1 for mrs tan for those who have hopes on me.. for those who wish to see me back in sec 5.
i was hungry..only ate breakfast for the day..

11:29 PM

it continues to stain, why?.