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Monday, October 30, 2006
we even lost sight of things we've seen before,

serious sorethroat, hyper blocknose, extreme bodyheat plus pounding headaches. i am sick! regardless i am sick or well, i have to take my pay. $$ kays =x i had problem sleeping because i have to keep going to the toliet. due to drinking lots lots of plain water, because my throat is very very dry...poor me =( the aircon at the expo and changi airport is cold, budden i can tahan leh...duno why will fall sick suddently. probably.....
despite being sick, i ate stir-FRIED vegetables & deep FRIED fish cooked by my mama during lunchtime -.- ate FRIED hongkong mee at fisherman village,when collecting pay at night. later on went for bbq..ate GRILLED hotdogs, sausages, fishballs and prawns. they still stuffs me with alcoholic drinks -.- i didnt drunk or whatever la, because i am careful =/ not like those crazy people, they think they are drinking plain water =x oops no offence. they nearly want to drunk jasmine lor, even shes tired and dizzy. lucky i stop her? hope shes fine by now..
usually i will drink with emotions, budden not today. i duno why, maybe i am so used to the hurt. but after the drink, i looked myself in the mirror, i realised my eyes are so wet..
1/2 jobless.

2:21 AM

it continues to stain, why?.

Saturday, October 28, 2006
we even lost sight of things we've seen before,


when home late, so blog late. suppose blogging about yesterday trip which has past for a few hours..anyways so yesterday i sleep at 4am and wake up at 8 am..and i have not been sleeping till now..while listening to the radio early in the morning, the yes933 dj ling lingzhi had her last programme yesterday morning on "jiu shi wan ren mi". her voice so nice la. it a pity shes not working as a dj anymore.
went to meet waihong,jingkai and steven. sort of celebrating with timothy la. the sun is hot in the afternoon. we had lunch at bedok coffeeshop. i had mixed vegetable curry with rice & bread. wha so nice lor, even i dun really love spicy stuffs, but it was so nice la. taht why the curry was recommended by some food shows.. went for arcades and pool, spend quite a sum. i skip the last part pf the celebration,which is the buffet. i sacrifices the great meal and attend cell group.
although as usual i really simply dun understand a single worshipping and the prayers stuffs. but i am more interested in the preaching or some "real life lessons".
what yongheng says, sound so cool la...his a straightfoward he will just say out if u commit any mistakes..not being mean, but for u to know, so u could learn?...rather than thinking that he is fierce, when he is not...should be like this la =/ from my understanding is like that la ...i didnt say sacastic things la...i am serious about the words i said, so that was hoping u get the sense of urgency and not repeat such mistakes? u should know u have a weak body and u keep staying up late. despite not taking care your own body, go around flirt-ing as an when u like. -.- u are a female leh..for goodness sake.. oh my tian....
fisherman village was gone yesterday...recieve so many phone calls.. telling me dun need come for work and about the pay..although i work there for very long, but i am not the boss who give the pay. besides they owned me pay too.... it kinda sad that the place has gone la...such a romantic place, windy sea view, star bright sky just you and me sitting down at the "candle-lit" table having out meals chit sweet=x i am dreaming..obviously.
munching the sticky and so-sweet cereal awhile ago...and drinking honey green tea now =)
and it late at night, hope i do not have tummyache...bless me man...

2:43 AM

it continues to stain, why?.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006
we even lost sight of things we've seen before,

yesterday went to my cousin new house.. private condominum, somemore got shuttle bus drive in and out. but i go in by taxi =x the area so nice lor. when u go in, it like u go into safari zoo. the girraffe, tortoise, elephant, leopard, rino and the hippo all so cute. wanted to take pictures with them, but my sis say so troublesome. there somemore got karoake plus swimming pool la..duh~ barbeque pit also nice round design for people who "tuan yuan" so "wen xin" hor
the apartment more nice la..ohmy tian when i go in ...most of the walls are with glass..such a vain person like me...will keep taking a look at the mirror =x the interior more nice la...although it quite small for a 5 room flat plus her house so many furniture. it not spacious budden it very nice!! very very nice
tampines duno how many years later got the..gorvenment housing private design i think...that expensive already lor -.- dun even know got money buy an apartment for myself or for the family? in future..
went to work after visiting the house and the area. it a public holiday and there alot of customers. it defintely tiring, working with my upsetting mood. while i still keep calm and keep my cool. mainitaining smiles to customers. some so friendly la..still can joke with u, while working. some so mean such the way that, i dun even want to look at them =/ yesterday was so tired such a way that. i cant be bothered waht they ask, what they want. i jsut show a little of attitude. besides it gone in a few days time.
things has never been better, today horoscopes says: If you have been looking for a sign that you are making romantic progress with a certain someone, you have a choice today. You can try to read their body language and pick up on subtle signals to get a sense of what they are thinking right now, or you can walk up to them, smile, and ask them. This direct confrontation might not fit your style, but why not? There is not reason (and no time) to beat around the bush. You have to go out and get what you want!.
simpily i have no ideas, plus i am sick and afraid of doing such things already. rejection kills
hope i dun see things i dun wish to see.. if not i might get pissed?
off to work.. bless me =/

4:53 PM

it continues to stain, why?.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006
we even lost sight of things we've seen before,

have you ever felt when u need one was there? i feeling that now.. it was like i really need someone be by my side, but there not a single soul. nobody will realise how painful the feeling of being alone was, besides those anti- social people. the pain that people/s ignores you, or judge you the way about your past it so hurtful that i cant even sense the pain already because i was like get used to it?. even though there is someone who said, she will "sui chuan sui dao" to me. but she will not come right away to me when i need her or somebody.
last week, worked 6 days kinda tired. although i am like so used to the place, nothing was tough for me. besides some troublesome customers. this particular customer sound nasty but there is some logic la.. as i was collecting bills, while they are having their meals. it not a very good thing to do, but that the rule in the restraunt, because it an open restraunt and there are people who run away after they eat. so this customer said..just becasue some people do it, we are judge the same as those people. it the same, when some girls hate we guys, just because things happen unsucessfully in their broken relationships, with their brother silblings or with their male friends were bad. so we guys all had the same judgement by them, i believe most girls said, guys are all the same, they are none good.
tui hou mv was so nice. besides hebe was pretty, the story was touching too. it tells me, dun do things that make u regret. jay says the last word before the mv ends" wo yi jing bian le, dan ye lai bu ji le" really lor..i guess i regretted...
on sunday i went for service. it was about the purpose in life. i seriosuly duno what is my purpose in life maybe i not a christian so i dun understand what it means or maybe i am not mature enough to realise waht is my purpose in life, or maybe i know it jsut that i am not sure yet. or maybe i did not even realise waht is my real purpose.
ngee ann girl was not a very good person after all. she sure is weird, despite breaking with zinc she still has feelings for him .. what the .. not just that. she ah lian? sisterhood somemore -.- unbelieveable yeh. and worst is the conversation with her, u probably can vomit blood. but i cannot dun admit she pretty la. but i guess she need to change the way she live and the way she see her life. bless her and zinc lor
after this week, fisherman village is going to be taken back by the govenment. by then i probably be jobless. i planned to bring my girlfriend? there to have a meal and enjoy the starlight in the sky and the romantic sea views..budden untill now i am still single. how pathetic =/
how i wish i could cry in my dreams.

2:26 AM

it continues to stain, why?.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006
we even lost sight of things we've seen before,

today when i wake up i thought i was at genting. nono it was the haze, it has never been better. had interview yesterday, i thought it was a success but no phone call is a no. i think i can find a better job as soon as possible. somehow during the holidays i still feel bored. i need enjoyment, entertainment and refreshment =D enjoyment with friends, entertainment with girlfriend? and refreshment: eating of good foods =D
last week i went back to work for 3 days. additional pretty girls were there. that xiuling who serve the buffet with me together with yanhan, she continue working together with me the next day: collecting bills. but she attitude with the cashiar auntie -.- than she had a switch with eric. on sunday no more together, but she still as pretty and communications never lack. so waht if she pretty -.- so many guys in the job like so fantasize with her, including me? i just think she pretty la. somemore she smoke and dress with makeups. i just dun stand a chance.
anyways zinc asked me to promise him to another thing. it seems like, i cant be so flirt? like him. his troubles also give me headaches. had lunch at phin's restrauant & consulatation at polyclinic with zinc earlier on today. he said his stories, i feel sad for him? with my busy working schedule i dun think i get to see him again. bless him man.
p.s. i think i love you ; cause i miss you : i falling for you ; i need you...

5:04 PM

it continues to stain, why?.

Saturday, October 14, 2006
we even lost sight of things we've seen before,


it hard to satisfy everyone in this world. xiuling a pretty girl working with me yesterday said to me that..see those demanding customers, whalau buffet where got takeaway one -.- she sounds cute too la, sadly she smoke and she dress like nobody cares. maybe that her style i guess?
yesterday was esmond first day of work too. i didnt teach him everything on time, plus there alot more for him to learn. i dun blame him for being slow, but at least pay attention about waht i said, so he can learn better? rather than keep looking at girls and get distracted easily. end up forgotten almost half of waht i taught him.
early morning had to spoilt my mood by.......argh, i get frustrated not becasue of waht, is becasue i been repeating and repeating.. i even asked is there anything u duno, u better ask now. u keep saying u cannot, i dun see why u cannot do well lor, u are doing well for the first day mah. rich people sure know how to enjoy life, such a way taht they duno what is hardwork? no offence. but different backgrounds, teaching, enviroment determine a child's thinking and everything.
we are different people la..of course have conflicts right, when we dun even understand each other. moreover i am a nobody trying to be somebody. -.-

Horoscope for October 14, 2006
Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 22)

Today, stay loose and relaxed on the inside -- and composed and formal on the outside. The first impression you make is going to be key, and you will want to err on the side of ambition. This combination of calm and cool will help you easily take advantage of a gigantic opportunity when it appears. The work at hand demands a lot of you, but it's nothing you can't handle with grace and professionalism. Propriety and an objective demeanor will be called for most of the day.

yaya, if i stay loose and relaxed nothing of such things will happen. if things is going to be explained and said clearly with good reasoning, of course things wont happen the way u think.
the story i said to you seems i lose a million and own a million. how am i going to go back to the days when i have a million. and the million is you -.-
yesterday i miss cell group due to working, it yongheng's birthday. and i think it defintely fun there. working seems fun too. so many new workers, plus they are okay to be together. somemore got pretty girls =x
munching those green bean angrily now. things happen just like this purposely to piss me?

2:59 PM

it continues to stain, why?.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006
we even lost sight of things we've seen before,

starting from today till the end of this year, i do not have to attend school besides the day when i have to get my results -.-
i got to enjoy myself this 2 months and 2 weeks long of holidays. but enjoy needs money and i am going to work so hard for money just to enjoy myself.
went movie with esmond. we watched john tucker must die. it was a last minute decision because she delay our precious time. the movie was about this very popular guy in a high school being a flirt. 3 girls planned to break his heart since he break their heart. people who love romance is going to love this show. i love it.. love this quote "i know i made mistakes, but i never planned to hurt anybody." it a movie defintely worth watching, but if u planned to go before hand u might not like it. i like it because i am trying to kill time since i am so bored. after movie we had arcades.. this world is really small can, saw taht same guy who played ice hockey with us before. he thinks i am so dumb to fall for his tricks -.- but i am not =) saw him defintely upsets me, but i saw another person that make me happy? saw taht ngee ann girl at the interchange while we going back home. this world is so small can. not just saw them.. but also saw other peoples. seriously this world is very small..i realised.

10:20 PM

it continues to stain, why?.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006
we even lost sight of things we've seen before,

despite having short sleeping hours, i still have to attend my last day of school, last paper and last chance to see that ngee ann girl. this time i talked to that ngee ann girl already, but she is attached with zinc. she defintely young la, from the way she talk and she replied with that innocent look which she keep giving me, the more i pray she will be alright. although i was blur early in the morning, i did add laughter into the conversation. at least we are still in contact. it alright if we were not together, it better that way. i guessed.
i flunked dnt paper. i only took morning assembly time to revise, equal no time. the paper was hard, so hard taht i just do waht i know. i thought i had to stoned there for like 2hours 30 minutes, but i didnt. but it still seems like so long to me -.-
i want to go out for the next 2 months, becasue i having holiday liao. start work on friday. hope dating and working wont clash, do let me know in advance.
bless me for the remaining days man...
today date like so nice la...couples together today will be "10 quan 10 mei"
off too sleep...

3:50 PM

it continues to stain, why?.

Friday, October 06, 2006
we even lost sight of things we've seen before,


today was late for maths paper 2. meet zinc and come together, just because i want to see that ngee ann girl 1 more time. this world is so small can. little expect zinc actually just know her. ghost said, i must asap make friends with her if not i regrat. see la, now zinc and her together -.- what am i really suppose to do. how "reactive" zinc actually is, somemore i really afraid that ngee ann girl will.... bless her la.
somehow i think they together was like my retribution. i really duno waht to do on tuesday la.. should i still sit beside her and go according to plan? dumb zinc -.- %#@$!@#!@
actually dun have the mood to do paper la. end up, i did do. but not in my best. anyways it over. i have headache now, not been eating since morning.
today moon is going to be biggest and roundest. if i and my partner were to admire the moonlight, eating mooncakes. how sweet could that be. mooncakes are sweet mah =D
but i dun get any chance admire with any girl.. i think so la...
anyways off to..the cell group meeting... pray my mood wont affect anybody. i am seriosuly exhausted and seriously depressed.

5:46 PM

it continues to stain, why?.

Thursday, October 05, 2006
we even lost sight of things we've seen before,

tomorrow maths paper 2. mrstan say it is much more harder than paper 1. while i duno i can do it mah, but i did say i will get A1 for them. sound so smug. hope i can make them feel proud of me. bless me man.
ngee ann girl. wha sort of starting to miss her liao. is like tuesday is the last time i taking 28 with her. and tuesday is like the last day i go for school. pray taht day the single deck bus come again. and i am going to sit next to her.
watching movie with zinc later, hope he dun nonsense again..
even now we have problems with each other, the basic trust is not even there. it not stable to build a good relationship. let alone when we grow up, being married couples. i think there will be more problems and troubles, arguement and anything. somemore u was like a princess to anyone, and me? a road sweeper? ahya was trying to say the status la, i am much more lower can. anyways those who left u, has changed now lor -.- is like i dun wish to change like them. somehow i wont get psycho-ed but i am afraid i will end up like them. u changed too. or maybe u didnt, it just that i duno the real you. i was wronged, so wrong.. who can guide me out of the tunnel and get out of this damn place? if u could make this dark tunnel to a bright house with hope i will defintely feel warm..will i get these blessings?

2:19 PM

it continues to stain, why?.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006
we even lost sight of things we've seen before,


today science paper is a nuisance. i was so tired yesterday and didnt manage to learn anything into the head. what i saw today was like so upsetting la....anyways went home and had a long sleep. suppose watch movie with zinc, he nonsense again la -.- help chungjierui with his problem of giving present to someone he love, hahas he sure is thin skin...wish him good luck.
zinc and his group of friends ask a girl from CHIJ katong convent for number. that girl just give lor -.- and she seems like so simple? anyways she say i look cool =X but she say the others cute, so it seems no different.
that ngee ann girl is defintely attractive seems so hard for me to speak at least a hi to her now..and i left with one last chance on tuesday to board the same bus with her.. what should i do? can someone please give me useful advise?
the no reply of messages and late reply might pissed people off? anyways hope i wont be affected by those who have bad mood or wahtever.

11:35 PM

it continues to stain, why?.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006
we even lost sight of things we've seen before,


today so coincident can. that time this single deck 28 came, and she move in her seat while i walk passed her. this time she straight away sit inside, and there is this guy infront me stopped after her sit, which means i am standing next to her sit. i should have sit down and get to know her -.- i didnt... lucky i alight and switch buses, if not i will be late.
maths paper was simple. thanks to mrs tan, belinda, bernard, zoelyn and esmond for teaching me all the small small and big big sums of mathematics. i have confidence in getting 50 marks for paper 1. although i am like so retard towards maths, i can find that paper easy. waht more those who are like so good at it.. anyways most of them are like so smug -.- even they get 95 and i get 75 it is still A1. and i am going to get A1 for mrs tan for belinda for bernard for zoelyn for esmond and for those who have faith in me and for myself. =D
i reach on time for the geography paper, and it was consider late. suppose to be sitted 15mins before. i have intention not taking the paper cause combined humanities i am like so weak la. i write nonsense so the marks will be nonsense too, anyways i dun care.
tomorrow is physics and chemistry paper, and i not yet start any revision. hope i remember everything. bless me.

10:26 PM

it continues to stain, why?.

Sunday, October 01, 2006
we even lost sight of things we've seen before,


K- books...

4:38 PM

it continues to stain, why?.