you wrote that for yourself, i wrote this for myself and we both wrote for ourselves. joey was right, its all up to me. i pull out that little courage of me, which i magnify them turned small. when zinc told me those plans, although its kinda against it but i just lay them on the table and start betting on it. when i saw your small body, my courage turned small and zinc said something, as if a big tight slap was on me. at that moment, there are so much to consider, so much i would think about the possibility that could be. but i didnt, seriously all i need is the toilet. when i walked on the streets near my school, it seems like i am the centre of attraction. seriously if it was a movie, then i am the lead actor that just shi lian? that scene was so real with the music "yi ge ren". i could keep listening to "ri bu lou" as i am really happy but i think "yi ge ren" seems to displaced it. it almost almost alike to "jia zhuang" i wondered am i gifted with this brain of mine. able to analyse situation clearly but at times it went the extra mile trying to get all the possibilities which turned out to be fultile. it somehow turned out to be the trouble maker. it not only turned me to be extra careful or maybe the most, caring. but it also resulted to make me wishy-washy and frickle minded -.- zinc added, dun think so much about their's mind. you wont guess it right, it make me really want to give up almost everything.like you will and you dun have to.
now i am facing tremendous stress. last evening, i recieved a phone call just withing split second that i checked my phone. i remembered clearly once i see no missed call, no messages i threw the phone back at the sofa and it rings. i couldnt hear the ringtone clearly cause the speaker was covered by my bed. =/ when i took the phone up, it stopped ringing. i called back throughout the night, it went engaged the whole day, till even like now -.- it no doubt, the job that i interviewed called. i waited the whole day just to hope they will call back. my mother says why wait, find other job la. agrh.... and keep add the stress from my sis to me. she is far more worst kay, she own $xxx to the m1 company, and i pay nearly every month kay. i also want money, who dun wnat -.- thats the bad part, she knows basketball too kay. she baby throw the orange to my sis, as she is sooo lazy to like eat, and keep hugging the computer =/ she also know overhead throw hor. she keep naggy chinese idioms to me telling me not to be lazy. my mother really can make u laugh out loud. i think i seriously need a job right now, not only for the money but also to clear everything in my mind, just like 2 years ago.

i thought i would enjoy christmas this year with you. although singapore dun snow, there's other way to make it white christmas. i think i am too tired to think of those ideas. what i have now with me, is a handmade 3d christmas card, or an animated cartoon strip about you and me? the 9 strawberry unbaked cheesecake, was probably nothing..